It was a little more than a month ago that we tried the sleep training (or more specifically, crib training) for the first time. I felt like it was a big, fat failure, but then decided that maybe Isabel was too young and wasn't ready to sleep by herself in her crib. There are several books that I'd like to read on the subject of sleep training, because I'd like to read various perspectives and then decide which one is most closely aligned with my thinking.......but I don't have time to read!! I guess I need to find the Cliff's Notes versions. ;)
I'm pretty sure I don't agree with the Ferber method (cry it out)and on the other end of the spectrum is the Sears method (no tears attachment parenting). The Baby Sleep Book by William Sears (a pediatrician), The No-Cry Sleep Solution, by Elizabeth Pantley, and Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg are all on my list of books to read (or at least, the Cliff's Notes!).
[...short break while I read up babies & sleep on Dr. Sears' website...] Hmm. I'm finding that I agree with what he says. I tend to compare myself (and my baby) with others a lot, and Dr. Sears says you can't do that. Every baby is different, and his/her sleep habits will be different. The main thing that I took from what I just read is that you have to decide whether your current situation is working for you, and if it isn't, then you tweak yourself, or your reaction to it, NOT your baby.
Our situation sort of works for me. On the one hand, having Isabel sleep with me in my bed works well for me because when she wakes up, I nurse her and we both go back to sleep pretty quickly. Neither of us wakes up fully this way, and I get more sleep than I would if she were in her crib so that I can function at work the next day. What doesn't work for me is when my husband sleeps in the bed with us, sadly! The reason is that the 3 of us just don't fit comfortably in our queen sized bed together. By the early AM hours, he has spread out in his sleep a bit and my wobbly bits are hanging out, flapping in the breeze off my side of the bed. Or is it Isabel who is hogging the bed?? At any rate, my wobbly bits get cold and I can't sleep with them flapping in the breeze. So. Solutions? Two present themselves to me: either kick poor hubby out of the bed or buy a bigger bed. I'd rather not kick him out, so it seems as if we have to buy a bigger bed. Well, then the next problem presents itself! I'm not sure a king sized bed would fit in our small bedroom. So. Solutions? Either buy a bigger house, or.....I don't know. I'm stumped. We could probably get a king sized bed to fit if we took out our other furniture (chest of drawers, stand lamp, night tables), but then we'd have to figure out where to put those things! See? It's a never-ending circle of problems. Put the bed in the living room? There ya go.
The other issue that's bothering me is that I do want Isabel to sleep in her own room at some point. I don't want her to be 10 years old and still sleeping with us! I'm afraid that the longer I wait to transition her to her own room, the more impossible it will be once I finally do it. However, every time I try putting her in her crib, she cries as if I've cut off her hand. I can't take that kind of crying in my sleep-deprived (read: emotional) state.
Work. I know I have to work, but this sleep deprivation thing is not getting any better. Isabel is still waking up about 4 times a night to eat and sometimes I just cannot fall instantly back to sleep when she's done eating. (And other times we both fall asleep before she's done eating!) Anyway, I'm finding that I'm having a hard time concentrating on work when I am there, and that I lose focus sometimes when I'm talking to clients or coworkers. I don't really know what to do about that. Getting more sleep is the answer, but how? Also, I'm pumping 3 times a day at work, and there are some days (like today!) when I feel like pumping is all I do. I want Isabel to be a 100% breastfed baby so that she can get all the nutrients/antibodies/or whatever else breastfed babies get from the mama, and that is my motivation for pumping, which keeps me going most of the time. ;) I'm proud that at 3 months, 3 weeks & 6 days of age, she's still entirely breastfed and that she does not eat formula at all. I suppose that will change eventually, although I'm hoping not. Recently I noticed a decrease in my milk supply, which freaked me out. I got some good advice from my yoga mama group, and have started taking two supplements that I get at Whole Foods: Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle. The names alone are awesome. ;) I've been taking them for about a week or so, and my production is back up again, so yay!
I just am feeling increasingly more tired, more emotional (from being too tired), and completely overwhelmed with housework as well as working a full-time, rather stressful (at times) job. How do other mamas do this? I still haven't been told the answer to that question. I know I'm not the only working mama. So how do the other working mamas keep it together? I feel some days like I'm barely holding on.
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